Published On: Tue, Mar 31st, 2020

COMMENTARY: Covid-19 and toilet paper hoarding…

 

Observations and random thoughts. 

By WILLIAM LEDFORD

Covid-19 is running amok among us. It’s been in the USA since early February 2020 after the Chinese first reported it to the WHO in December 2019. People returning here from Asia and Europe carried it with them not knowing they had it, maybe. The US Government finally began closing the borders in late February and early March but it was already here and people were still returning from Europe and packing airports. So, the reality is…the virus arrived and the borders were then closed with it already here. NC now has 1300 + confirmed and NM has 240 +. I’m sorry to say it’ll get worse before it gets better. Stay safe. Wash hands, don’t touch faces, sanitize everything and stay at home. You can do it.

I heard a joke, wasn’t PG-13, so I’ll tone it down for the mixed audience out there. Here goes…“When you go to the store all of the toilet paper is gone. Why?” “Because when someone coughs, three or four other people load their pants.” Yeah, I don’t actually say load.

I’m considered essential, I even have a card that says so if I get stopped and queried so, I don’t get to stay at home but I stay safe and I have a personal joke: “I like going to work. That way I can use someone else’s toilet paper and drink their water”. Tired of toilet paper jokes already? Feeling “wiped out…”? That’s courtesy of one Robert Jumper. Funny guy he is.  

What’s your price? How much is your vote worth? The talk of extreme deficit pounding has become a reality. The White House is gonna spend trillions and give all, or most, or some, of us 1200 to 2400 or so bucks to offset our financial losses. My 401k is “wiped out” (sorry, couldn’t help myself) and $1200 munnys per sounds nice but it’s not enough. My vote can’t be purchased. Not for a measly sum like that. I may be easy but I definitely ain’t cheap. Per capita payments have ruined me. 

Tribes, including the EBCI, got 800 billion dollars from the 2 trillion dollar stimulus package that the Prez signed. In my humble opinion you can thank Nancy Pelosi and Debra Haaland for that because the original Senate bill had nothing, zero dollars, in there for us. Again we were invisible. Debra Haaland has become a vocal force in the House and I’m glad that she speaks out for Native people. And, while you’re at it you can thank her for her very vocal support of the Violence Against Native Women ACT (VAMA), that subject seems to be taboo among the non-Native Congressmen.

I’m not one but there are those out there who only get their news of the ongoing pandemic from such renowned medical professionals as Hannity, Ingraham, Pirro, a wrestler sometimes named Tyrus and a really loud guy I call Bongo the Clown. Even though it might turn your stomach to watch something other than one channel for your news in times like these you need to obtain information from all sources. We are all in this together as we deal with this pandemic; Native, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, etc. I myself tape and watch everything-ABC, NBC, Fox, CBS, CW, MSNBC, CNN, I read the daily paper, I check stuff on the ‘net. Yeah, I know, using a DVR ain’t exactly taping but I’m old, give me a break. And I’ll say this: if you think that I am a little too rough on a certain political party, maybe I am but there are reasons and they’re mine. 

Now, we all realize that this is a very grim time. None so more than me since me and my wife are in our 60s but, I find humor is good medicine and I’m in a good mood so I’m going to close with a few more jokes and end this.

“All of the dogs that were quarantined and tested for the coronavirus have been released by the World Health Organization. In other words, WHO let the dogs out!” Yeah, I went there.

“Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance. So, I pushed her over.”

“My dog used to chase people on bikes a lot, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.”

“My friend recently came up to me and said, “What rhymes with orange?” I said, “No it doesn’t”

See ya in the funny papers! Hah! No one knows what those are anymore!

 

Ledford is an EBCI tribal member currently residing in Albuquerque, N.M. 

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